(Brain) Death Becomes Her

Days till Surgery: 17
Days till Old Age: 25

Good news, Boston folk! I will be coming up for a weekend after my surgery (which means I'll actually be mobile and not a gross pile of whining pain) and I'll be all set to drink and have a good time. I'll be up on Thursday April10th through Sunday, April 13th. Yay! And since I'll be 23 at that point, I'll need to drink away the pain. Bottom's up.

With that said, I most definitely need to drink away the pain after last night's LOST. I spent the entire hour near tears, for a variety of reasons, and almost had a heart attack at the end of the episode. Jin, you bastard, you better be alive and well! To ease the pain, I was linked to EW's assessment of the episode which offers hope and a different take on the episode's end. I think they've hit the nail on the head, especially because the tombstone have the date of death as the day the flight initially crashed. I smell a plan!

And I was super pumped to see that Sun was the last member of the Oceanic 6. I was so afraid she'd stay on the island and risk dying, so it was a very welcomed relief to see otherwise. Although I'm still wondering just how accurate the flash forwards are. They may be 100% set in stone, but it is LOST, and they enjoy pulling the carpet out from underneath us every chance they get. Point in case: last night's evil flash forward and flash backward scenes that totally fucked with our heads.

Maybe next week, just to calm ourselves down, we should be treated to an hour of just this image:

Hell yeah, bitches.

So, that's all I have for today. It's Friday and it's still only 11:30am (exactly) and I've used up my funny/witty/intelligent quotient for the week. Tonight I plan on drinking and passing out (again, because I'm pathetic and fell asleep at 9pm last night, missing LOST and MMAS and had to get caught up this morning at work) and not having to wake up at 8am. Hurray for weekends!!!

The Pitfalls of Bromance

Days till Surgery: 24
Days till Old Age: 32

Quickly, before I get to Make Me a Supermodel, this was me after last night's episode of LOST:

Actual Picture

The only thing I can say is that if Sayid is Ben's man on the ship, and if they're already working together, then my brain is going to explode. We've seen Sayid working for Ben in the flash forwards but I didn't think even for a moment that they could've made some kind of alliance while still on the island. At least this early. I can't wait for next week's episode!

Okay, moving on.

On last night's MMAS, I was torn between wanting the Bromance to finally come to an end (when Ben was bitching and moaning about not wanting to sell clothes and everything - um, hello? You want to be a model?) and wanting them to have hot, steamy sex on camera so I could indulge myself (when Ben suggested he and Ronnie do the quasi-sex scene during the week's shoot, and we were privileged enough to see Ronnie's control nearly snap, when he and Ben were thisclose to chewing each other's faces off. Mmmm.)

I adore Ronnie, and I did adore Ben, but it turns out that Ben's kind of a douche bag. If something doesn't go his way, rather than shrugging it off and saying he'll do better next time (like Casey) he gets irrationally angry and nasty. Not quite the adorable little guy I originally thought he was. But I'm torn, because I love him with Ronnie so much, and I think Ronnie's poor little heart would burst if Ben went home.

But I love Casey. Like, a lot. I think he's so gorgeous, and he's sweet and kind and actually puts the effort into it (unlike, you know, Ben.) That and I'm kind of hoping Perry will lick him again. Man, this show is good for my fantasies.

Good lord

Seriously, I feel like a 14 year old boy with sexuality issues. I can't stop staring at the picture - my boss is going to come over and be like "what da hale" and I'll be too incoherent to reply. Then maybe he'll appreciate the picture. God.

Uh... anyway.

Where was I? Oh yeah.

So I kind of want Ben to go home this week. He's only cute and sweet now around Ronnie, and I've had enough of his attitude. I think Casey deserves to stay because he works so damn hard, and genuinely wants to be there. Besides, Ronnie can hold his own against Perry and Casey, especially as there's only a few weeks left. As for the girls, well... I don't like their personalities all that much. Personally, if I was in a house full of hot men who were really fun and loved goofing around, I'd sure as hell be having a great time with them. I don't understand why they're so damn cold towards them, and so antisocial. However, they're both amazing models, and even if they were sent packing next week I think they'd both be snapped up by top agencies the moment they left the townhouse.

So, here's hoping that the Bromance sadly comes to an end, and we get another week of Perry and Casey's antics. And here's hoping that Perry's girlfriend dumps his ass for Adnan* and Perry realizes that all he wants in life is to marry me, be a top model, and support me with his earnings. C'mon, Perry, I'm not getting any younger.


*Oh, if you didn't see, this week's "drama" involved a very cryptic phone call from Perry to his girlfriend. She made this huge to do over "something in the media that would affect him, but wasn't true." Logically, when he was confused and tried to ask what it was, she told him she couldn't go into detail and hung up on him. Oh I see. Anyway, the "drama?" Some crappy tabloid (even I haven't seen this story anywhere) reported that Perry's GF was sleeping with Adnan. Adnan. Yes, the creeper BF of Britney Spears - the one with the pubic hair-esque goatee. Yeah. You seriously can't make that shit up.

I'm Totally LOST

I like LOST. I like LOST a lot, actually. I may not like it as much as the Reds, who read theories online and stress out about them, but I still really like the show. I think it's clever and fascinating, I think the characters are so nuanced and complicated, and I love how everything ties together when you least expect it.

That being said - I don't understand the show.

I try, I really do. I pay attention to the clues, I watch the subtle hints, I re-watch episodes in the hope that I'll be ahead of the game, but just as I'm gloating and announcing that 'Sally' is totally the key to the entire show, they go and kill 'Sally' off and it turns out she was a meaningless plot device. And then I feel stupid and baffled; and that is exactly what they want. Damn you, J.J. Abrams.

So, I've decided to stop trying to figure out the mysteries of LOST. I'm just not smart enough to wrap my brain around it all, and frankly, I don't have the patience to attempt really tackling the behemoth. Instead, I want to imagine what it would be like if I were on the show. If I'd plummeted out of the sky on that fateful day, and managed to get up and walk away (all without getting sucked into the engine, like that one unfortunate bastard in the pilot.)

Day 1: So, I was totally right about planes exploding in midair, and breaking apart and flying everywhere. This is it, I'm never flying again, you fucking bastards. Although at least the vast majority of us miraculously survived. And hey, I think my huge glaring disability is cured!

Day 2: I've noticed everyone on the island is shockingly attractive. And everyone has perfect teeth. And there's already all this sexual tension between them all. I think this is going to be the best experience of my life.

Day 3: Why they fuck are there polar bears in the tropics?

Day 4: Okay, so my 'doable' list is as follows: Jack, Sawyer, Kate, Paulo, Desmond, Jin, Sun, Boone, Shannon, Juliet. This shouldn't take too long. Oh wait, maybe Sayid too. And maybe Claire, but she's a little too mousy for my tastes. And that whole "pregnant" thing is a turn off.

Day 5: Boone dead, Shannon dead. Time to update the list.

Day 6: Why do The Others let Ben rule? He's a glorified mole, a giant rodent with oddly lizard-like eyes. Suspicious. I feel like he was the ugly duckling in High School, and now wants to have some glory and respect in his life. If only things had gone differently!

Day 7: Seriously, Kate, make up your mind already, this is getting ridiculous.

Day 8: Anna Lucia dead. Break out the whiskey! But don't drive after drinking the whiskey.

Day 9: Hatch located; bizarre man pressing buttons for past three years. Luckily he's just as attractive as the rest of the cast, so we can overlook this minor mental instability. Oh hey, more new characters - sup, guys? I love how you act like you've been here all along. Oh wait, you have been? We're supposed to believe that? Goddammit.

Day 10: People I wouldn't do: Libby, Ben, 99% of The Others, Charlie, Locke (...), Mr. Eko DEFINITELY NOT

Day 11: We have a lot of toothpaste and makeup, I've noticed. Everyone's so damn clean.


Unfortunately, I don't think my take on LOST is quite as... exciting or multi-layered as the actual show. Although I would definitely introduce a lot more sex. A lot more. Seriously, we need more naked time. They're all on a goddamn island, let's see some skin already!

So here are some of my questions. I'm not intelligent enough, nor creative enough, to find the answers, so I put them out there for all of you:

1. What the fuck is up with the polar bears?
2. What the fuck is up with the smoke monster? Why did Locke see a white smoke monster, but Mr. Eko saw a black smoke monster? And why was it so lame looking?
3. Are we dealing with time travel?
4. Who're the rest of the Oceanic 6?
5. Do the flash fowards really happen, or is that just one possibility?
6. Why did they hire Michelle Rodriguez in the first place?
7. Would Libby really have let Hurley hit it?
8. Are Jack and Claire really half-siblings?
9. Who is Jack's ex-wife's new boy toy, and is he going to have any importance?
10. Can we have an episode where Paulo just walks around naked? Please?
11. Who does Kate really love - Jack or Sawyer?
12. Can I have her cast off?


The world may never know.