Unicorn vs. The Ape Man

Days till Christmas: 24

I think I can officially say that I have been having the most bizarre dreams over the past month or so. I've always been one to have vivid and rather acid-trippy dreams, but starting in September or so, I started having on average one bizarre nightmare a month, which would freak me out and make me spend the next few weeks looking behind the shower curtain and underneath the bed before I could safely go to sleep. Beginning in November, I started having maybe one or two a week. Beginning this week, I've had one or two a night.

Last night I had two of the most bizarre dreams I've ever had, and one of the scariest dreams I've ever had. Although when I explain it, anyone that reads this is automatically going to think I'm insane. If you hadn't already, of course.

My first dream was one I'd like to call: Unicorn vs. The Ape Man

Uh....Right. Or something.

So, in the dream I was back at my house in Hull, watching movies with my brother and my mother and someone who was either my father or Christopher Lloyd (work with me, people.) There was something about some creature outside that was deadly/possibly rabid/possibly 28 Days Later-ed, and we could hear it screeching and throwing itself against the sides of the house. I think Erin may have made an appearance at some point. There was a news bulletin that somehow interrupted a VHS movie (??) and we were all very nervous.

I remembered that we had milk from the milk man (mind you, we stopped having the milk man deliver us milk when I was about 8) and I had to go outside to pick it up - of course I was subsequently captured by whatever the creature was, as at that point I hadn't seen it yet. Fast forward some indiscernible time later, and I'm strapped against a rock and held prisoner. But. I was also a dude. Sometimes. Uh. I was quite terrified, especially because all of my friends and family (who had miraculously turned into people I've never actually see in my entire life before) weren't willing to come save me from the now-biting-me creature which was - surprise! - an Ape Man of some sort. They were too "nervous" so I was being turned into ape kibble.

But then something came to rescue me! I heard a rustling in the bushes, and then - just fucking get this - a Unicorn comes out of a tiny bush and proceeds to slay the ape thing. By sticking it's horn into the ape's eye socket. Hurrah, I was rescued!

I woke up tweaking out, and immediately thought there was an ape man in my closet, and I wondered it it was at all possible for the unicorn to squeeze through my window in order to save me. Then I realized I was, quite possibly, completely out of my mind.

Possible Interpretations for The Dream:
(As Discussed by Dream Moods Dictionary)

Unicorn: To see a unicorn in your dream, symbolizes high ideals, hope and insight in a current situation. It also symbolizes power, gentleness, and purity. Alternatively, it may represent your one-sided views.

Abduction: To dream of being abducted, indicates that you are being controlled by your circumstances or by someone.

Apes: To see apes in your dream, indicates deception, mischievous, and falsehood. Alternatively, it may refer that you or someone have gone "ape". You need to calm down. The ape may also refer to you wild inner nature, particularly your sexual nature.

Family: To see your own family in your dream, represents security, warmth and love. Consider also the significance of a particular family member or the relationship you have with them.

Gender Swapping: To dream that you are the opposite sex, suggests that you exhibit or need to incorporate those qualities of the opposite sex. Ask yourself, how do you feel being a man or a woman? In what ways can you incorporate those feelings into your waking life.

Home: To see your home in your dream, signifies security, basic needs, and values. You may feel at home at your new job or you finally feel settled and comfortable in a new environment.

In particular, to see your childhood home or a home that you no longer live in, suggests your own desires for building a family. It also reflects aspects of yourself that were prominent or developed during the time you lived in that home. You may experience some feelings or unfinished expression of emotions that are now being triggered by a waking situation.

Final Outcome: I'm a great and pure and gentle soul, who happens to also be a lying, mischievous, deceitful pain in the ass, with a wild sexual nature, who's being controlled by someone else (despite my ninja-esque ways), but in the end, all I want is to be enveloped in the warmth and love of my family. The ones that wouldn't rescue me. Perhaps I need to calm down before they're willing to risk rabies. I also feel secure and nostalgic about my home, even though there's a killer Ape Thing waiting outside the door to eat me. That inspires me to bring children into the world, but unfortunately, I really need to be more manly, so birthing something at this time seems inappropriate.


The second dream I'd like to call: The Leprechaun (is a Dirty Thief)

No, seriously, they made Leprechaun 5: In the Hood an actual movie. And, I fucking kid you not, they made another sequel called Leprechaun: Back 2 da Hood. I FUCKING SWEAR.

In this dream, I was hanging out with a combination of people I went to high school with, and people I understood to have known, but for the life of me actually had no idea who the hell they were. We were living in a house that conveniently happened to be located right in the beginning of a Metro tunnel (????) and also - surprise! - had a massively obnoxious leprechaun hanging out in the gutters below. I'm pretty sure I knew that the leprechaun could only hurt us if we were outside, as whenever it appeared and bounced around in front of our many windows, we seemed to know it couldn't burst inside and attempt to kidnap us all and then kill us messily. (Note: Since I was roughly about 4 feet taller than the Leprechaun, I'm not entirely sure how it would've been able to overpower us to begin with.)

One of my friends (who was never in a sorority) lost her sorority necklace by the gutter (but then it turned out to be her boyfriend's letter necklace, and her boyfriend ended up being the boyfriend from Scream 2 who sings "I Think I Love You" in the cafeteria to Neve) and we had to warn her not to pick it up. Scintillating, that. Um, in the end, I made out with some guy who was a friend (I think?) after making a Gingerbread House (????) because we were scared of the Leprechaun and realized it was now or never to profess our love. Or something.

Possible Interpretations for The Dream:
(As Discussed by Dream Moods Dictionary)

Friends: To see your friends in your dream, signifies aspects of your personality that you have rejected, but are ready to integrate these rejected part of yourself. The relationships you have with those around you are important in learning about yourself. Additionally, this symbol foretells of happy tidings from them and the arrival of good news.

To see your childhood friend in your dream, signifies regression into your past where you had no responsibilities and things were much simpler and carefree. You may be wanting to escape the the pressures and stresses of adulthood. Consider the relationship you had with this friend and the lessons that were learned. Alternatively, the childhood friend may be suggesting that you have been acting in a childish manner and you need to start acting like an adult.

Gingerbread Houses: a close bond - doing things together (Hmm, that's actually very interesting, given the context of the RANDOMNESS of that dream scene)

Leprechaun: To see a leprechaun in your dream, suggests that you will reap the benefits and rewards of your hard work through perseverance and dedication. Alternatively, you may be trying to take the quick and easy path to success.

Making Out: If you are kissed by a stranger, then your dream is one of self-discovery. You need to get more acquainted with some aspect of yourself. Someone you like and want: wish fulfillment. A faceless person: your basic desire being met.

Rundown/Haunted House: To dream of a haunted house, signifies unfinished emotional business, related to your childhood family, dead relatives, or repressed memories and feelings. The old house may symbolize your need to update you mode of thinking.

Trapped: To dream that you are trapped or caught in a trap, suggests that you are feeling confined and restricted in your job, career, health, or a personal relationship. You may be in a rut or tired of the same daily monotony.

Final Outcome: The path to my inevitable success comes in the form of a small, murderous maniac. Wait a second, that's awfully fitting at the moment... I'm trapped and tired of daily monotony (true!) and have lots of *~repressed emotions~* but at least I'm getting some sexual awareness groove on. So basically I'm realizing I need more fulfillment, but getting all of my fulfillment, and I'll get everything I want as long as I can stop feeling trapped, and stop putting myself in the face of imminent death and destruction. Hmm.


Well, I guess that leads us to:

Your Daily Survival Technique
How to Survive a String of Nightmares

Step 1: Figure out what your subconscious is trying to tell you. Do you need more excitement in your life? Are you stuck in a rut? Do you need more time with your friends? Are you yearning to start a family? Do you really, really need to get laid?

Step 2: Watch a happy, fulfilling movie before bed. Now that you know what you're missing and what you crave, watch a movie that fulfills those desires. Hopefully your dreams will be happier.

Step 3: Stop eating spicy foods before bed. Seriously.

Step 4: Consider the idea that you're completely insane. It'd explain why you're dreaming of murderous Ape Men, dastardly Leprechauns, and a completely random Unicorn that not only hides in bushes, but gorgeous eyeballs. Those aren't repressed desires, that's just what actually goes on in your head during your waking hours.