"The Tudors" is French for "I Should Have Sex With JRM and Henry Cavill"

I should have sex with Jonathan Rhys Meyers and Henry Cavill.

I don't really mind the mechanics behind it; Jon first, then Henry, or Henry first, or both at the same time, or with Natalie Dormer who plays Anne cause she could join too, whatevs, as long as there's none of that chick who plays the Mary-Margaret hybrid, I'm set, cause she's too frail and I'd snap her in half. I'm very powerful in bed, or so I've been told.

The great thing about Showtime, and about The Tudors, is that everyone's either waging war or getting buck wild, and really, isn't that the only way to live your life? Why wouldn't you want to be slicing and dicing with one hand, and getting laid with the other?

Yeah baby, I'm totally kicking Spain's ass for you

Never mind that the show completely butchers the history behind the story. So what if Catherine of Aragon was only 6 years older than Henry, and not 15? So what if Mary Boleyn was mistress for at least a few years (and probably birthed two king spawns), not ten minutes? And so what if the entirety of Henry's courting of Anne and Wosley's downfall and death and the entire Mary-Margaret-hybrid-off-kilter-timeline were all completely screwed up?

I get to look at this every episode:

Yeaaaah boy!

History holds no meaning for me if all I get is a picture of a fat old man with red hair and four chins. Give me live action washboard abs any day of the week, my friend. That's the great thing about premium cable: no one cares about the validity of the story, as long as it's chock full of naked people, delicious fornication, gay scandals, and lots of violence and bloodshed. Thank god we have The Tudors OnDemand at Erin's.

Oh, and Days Till Halloween: 28