Days till Halloween: 30
Before I start a massively long bitch fest about the horrific-ness that was yesterday, let me gleefully exclaim that it is October 1st! October is my most favoritest month in the whole wide world, because it is the only month in which it is publicly acceptable for me to talk excitedly about ghosts and hauntings and supernatural occurrences without too many people running away from me. And of course, it has the GREATEST holiday known to mankind - HALLOWEEN.
Before I start a massively long bitch fest about the horrific-ness that was yesterday, let me gleefully exclaim that it is October 1st! October is my most favoritest month in the whole wide world, because it is the only month in which it is publicly acceptable for me to talk excitedly about ghosts and hauntings and supernatural occurrences without too many people running away from me. And of course, it has the GREATEST holiday known to mankind - HALLOWEEN.
Mary Kate Olsen?!
It's better than Christmas, Hanukkah, and my birthday, because it has hoards of candy and hoards of horror movies, and what on earth could be better than that? Actually, adding in hoards of alcohol and hoards of drunken hookups in questionable costumes is a more realistic approach, but who in their right mind would argue against those thrilling, newer traditions?
Anyway, yesterday was supposed to be a fun yet relaxing day (although it was the last day of September, and not the first glorious day of October, so perhaps I should've expected it.) Erin and I were going up to College Park to go to Ikea, then heading down to Alexandria to indulge ourselves at Ihop, run a few errands at PetSmart and Target, and do some grocery shopping at Shoppers; afterwards, we were going to go back to the apartment, crack open a bottle of Coppola Merlot, and continue our Supernatural Marathon in an effort to wind down and enjoy the last bits of the weekend.
Unfortunately, this was not meant to be. Instead, I somehow set off Murphy's Law x1000, in which every possible thing that could go wrong, did indeed go wrong, and in a particularly painful and aggravating way.
We made good time getting out to Ikea, and for the most part managed to get through the maze that is the store without too many mishaps. We found my bed and I picked out tables and chairs and everything. Of course the table and chairs I picked out were out of stock (actually, I think they mysteriously vanished because nothing was actually in the right place in the massive storage warehouse area), and of course the bed was... well, a giant square which was in no way conducive to transporting or packing it, but we managed to drag everything out to the cashier area.
Now, I wanted to open up an Ikea credit card, because all of my cards are at home in Boston, and I wasn't able to get anything in time for my trip. This should have been a painless process in which the masses of Ikea workers came together, hoisted me in the air, and happily brought me to the right desk to open a card. However, everyone at Ikea is a filthy liar, and I spent about an hour running around the store, instructed to go to different places, and massively lacking a credit card. In the end, I screamed at some pompous twatty worker (honestly, you work at Ikea, buddy) and finally ended up finding a stupid kiosk on my own.
Let's tell her the kiosk is in the loading dock!After finally procuring a credit card, yelling at a few more people, and refusing to let Erin eat (hey, I let her buy some cookies, okay?!), we made our way outside to load up the Scion I had to fork over $70 to rent. As we started loading, we realized we'd made one key error: the box with the bed in it was about an inch too big to fit in the car. We tried shoving it in every possible angle (not that way, har har), tried putting it in the trunk/back seat area, tried wedging it between the seats, tried shoving it across the tires, everything. Finally, we had to open the box, take out all the individual parts, and hope that the iron bed frame didn't tear the Scion to shreds.
(Not that that would've been an unfortunate occurrence in theory, as the car was a complete piece of crap with no shock absorbers, no alignment, and I'm pretty sure the only thing holding it together was some chewing gum and a piece of duct tape for good measure. I just didn't want to have to pay the damage fee; Zipcar is relatively affordable, but they put in little fine print like it may cost you $9 to rent the car for an hour, but if you return it at 1:01pm instead of 1:00pm, you have to actually pay with your soul. Oh, you didn't see that in the paperwork? Sucks to be you.)
After much blood, sweat and tears (literally all three in the process), we wedged everything into the car and sped off to Ihop. Oh, except that I accidentally took the NORTH exit instead of the SOUTH exit. Twice. Erin, to her credit, didn't jump out the car door and put an end to her misery, and luckily after about half an hour of confusion, we were on our way to Virginia and to Ihop!
(Not that that would've been an unfortunate occurrence in theory, as the car was a complete piece of crap with no shock absorbers, no alignment, and I'm pretty sure the only thing holding it together was some chewing gum and a piece of duct tape for good measure. I just didn't want to have to pay the damage fee; Zipcar is relatively affordable, but they put in little fine print like it may cost you $9 to rent the car for an hour, but if you return it at 1:01pm instead of 1:00pm, you have to actually pay with your soul. Oh, you didn't see that in the paperwork? Sucks to be you.)
After much blood, sweat and tears (literally all three in the process), we wedged everything into the car and sped off to Ihop. Oh, except that I accidentally took the NORTH exit instead of the SOUTH exit. Twice. Erin, to her credit, didn't jump out the car door and put an end to her misery, and luckily after about half an hour of confusion, we were on our way to Virginia and to Ihop!
My god! So many delicious possibilities!We had a robot waiter set on Turbo Speed who cheered us up by bringing us our delicious food, including a strawberry crepe, which may have actually had orgasmic ingredients in it. It's always good to know that stuffing your face with Ihop will help turn your day around (until you get on the scale the next morning, but hey, that's what denial's for.)
We tried to go to PetSmart but it was closed, so instead we made our way to Target. Erin acted like an adult by purchasing a dust buster for the epic-ness that is Cleo's shedding, a broom and an indulgence in the Adam's Family Movies Pack; I, on the other hand, proved that I am still 10 years old, and bought a back-breaking amount of Halloween candy, Halloween paraphernalia, and basically tons of crap.
Then it was on to Shoppers. By the time we reached the store - about 6 hours after we'd set out for the day - we were too exhausted to do any substantial shopping, and instead picked up milk, Frosted Mini Wheats, and two bottles of Coppola Merlot. Which we proceeded to drink the entirety of, after realizing that (once we got back), the bed wouldn't fit in the elevator, and we had to have half the building come and help us get our crap inside.
The upside - besides two bottles of fabulously delicious wine, of course - is that we continued our Supernatural Marathon and finished watching another large chunk of Season 2. I always knew I'd like the show because 1) it's very X-Files-esque and god only knows how obsessed I still am with that show, and 2) Jared Padalecki and Jensen Ackles are the hottest men in the entire freaking world, and seeing the two of them together for that much time is enough to make my head explode. And by head explode, I mean I need to have sex with them. At the same time.
You take the front, I'll take the back
We tried to go to PetSmart but it was closed, so instead we made our way to Target. Erin acted like an adult by purchasing a dust buster for the epic-ness that is Cleo's shedding, a broom and an indulgence in the Adam's Family Movies Pack; I, on the other hand, proved that I am still 10 years old, and bought a back-breaking amount of Halloween candy, Halloween paraphernalia, and basically tons of crap.
Then it was on to Shoppers. By the time we reached the store - about 6 hours after we'd set out for the day - we were too exhausted to do any substantial shopping, and instead picked up milk, Frosted Mini Wheats, and two bottles of Coppola Merlot. Which we proceeded to drink the entirety of, after realizing that (once we got back), the bed wouldn't fit in the elevator, and we had to have half the building come and help us get our crap inside.
The upside - besides two bottles of fabulously delicious wine, of course - is that we continued our Supernatural Marathon and finished watching another large chunk of Season 2. I always knew I'd like the show because 1) it's very X-Files-esque and god only knows how obsessed I still am with that show, and 2) Jared Padalecki and Jensen Ackles are the hottest men in the entire freaking world, and seeing the two of them together for that much time is enough to make my head explode. And by head explode, I mean I need to have sex with them. At the same time.
You take the front, I'll take the backSeriously, I cannot even explain how attractive the two of them are. There really need to be more Jareds and Jensens just wandering around DC, looking for a slim, attractive, freckled 22 year old with a snarky exterior but a warm heart on the inside. Or at least someone mildly attractive with slutty tendencies. Whatever works.
No comments:
Post a Comment