You know what's funny? When animals are made up to look or act like humans. Like when dogs have sunglasses and Hawaiian shirts on, or when monkeys sit at tables and eat their meals with forks. Oh, or when homosexuals try to get married. Precious! It's like... god they're just so cute trying to do normal, human things, but you know in the end they're just animals.
You're not fooling anyone
Well, I guess homosexuals have more in common with humans than dogs or apes; they sort of look like us, and I suppose they have some feelings, but the fundamental difference between us and them - unless you live in Massachusetts (yeah home state!) - is that we, as superior heterosexual beings, have civil rights and are allowed to get legally married, and our spouses get rights, and our kids get rights, and all those fun things.
In a news item I got to write at work today, I found a touching quote from the Family Research Council, a conservative group that are working hard to keep the animals out of the house. Take this steadfast quote, about Maryland's Court of Appeals ruling 4-3 to uphold the state's same-sex marriage ban:
"We commend the court for upholding the law rather than imposing the views of a persistent minority. This is an outright rejection of judicial activism and strengthens the legal battle against same-sex 'marriage'.".
Brilliant. Especially in the adorably condescending way that they use the 'quotes' around 'marriage.' Those crazy same-sex couples. Marriage? My god. Next thing you know, they'll want to vote, and work in major corporations, and not be ridiculed and outcast and have their rights stomped on. So cute. And I love the 'persistant minority' quote. Like those annoying gnats that won't stop biting you!
Anyway, Erin and I have decided to take a self-defense class. (No, not for protection against same-sex couples, but that is a good idea now that I think about it.) After her LSAT class is over, and after I'm up for a good workout again, we're going to see what's out there (and actually affordable). This lead to an interesting question - with my new apartment on the first floor - not the ground floor, but the floor above it - would someone hypothetically be able to get in through my window? And not like Spiderman, cause it's not all that high up.
I pointed out that of the three windows I have, only the two small side windows open, and they only open a crack.
Me: So really, no one could get in unless they were Gumby, or that guy on the X-Files that ate human livers and could squash himself and slither under doors.
Erin: Oooh, or Jaslene!
Good point, Erin. I got to meet Jaslene (last America's Next Top Model winner) in NYC in July - she was thin enough to crawl through that window. Actually, she's probably small enough to fit through those little drain holes in the shower. That must be a scary existence, trying constantly not to accidentally fall through a sewer grate or a crack in the sidewalk.
No one wants to wake up to this in the middle of the night
I'm not entirely sure which would be scarier to find in the middle of the night in my apartment - Jaslene or liver-eating-flattening man. Both are equally frightening.
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