The Imminent Threat of Small People

While I'm afraid of puppets, I'm not afraid of small people. Well, not all small people. But I am wary of them, especially ones that lurk and turn up in odd places, like behind you, or in the corner, or beneath your desk. There's a very small woman I work with who always seems to be lurking in the shadows, as though at any moment she'll spring and gnaw my ankles off with her tiny, razor sharp teeth. It's very disconcerting, especially because I have a tall desk, and most of the time, I can't actually see the top of her head over it, so I don't know where she is. She could be anywhere. Anywhere.

I'm hiding beneath your couch right now

Speaking of small evil people, Erin's mother is here for the weekend so it looks like I'll be going to Boston a week early. It's not that I don't want to be here to support Erin in her time of need, it's just that I'm afraid her mother might murder me and throw my body in the Potomac because I didn't vacuum well enough. Since I barely even know how to vacuum, I think it's going to be a problem. It's all very trying. Luckily we have hardwood floors at home, so I don't have to worry about things like that.

Another one of my neurotic fears is flying (although personally I think anyone that trusts planes not to blow up in midair or plummet from the sky is insane) so I'll be taking Amtrak for a leisurely, relaxing 8 hour trip. And, exciting enough, I'm taking an overnight train! So I get into Boston at 8am, and then start a very long two days of lots of shopping for pots and pans and bedding and furniture and whatever else it is that one needs to create a functioning apartment. Which is great, since if I was left to my own devices, I'd have enough money saved to buy a beanbag chair, a used pillow, and maybe a box of Ramen, if I panhandled a little bit outside of the closest Safeway.

My mother is very excited for me to come home so we can buy our new household goods and layout the apartment and do all those fun things. I think she's just so happy that I'm finally moving out for good, she's willing to do just about anything.