Happy Birthday To Me!

Shit - I'm really old.

I mean 23 - twenty-three. I'm still technically in my early-twenties, but next year marks the beginning of my mid-twenties. Mid-twenties. If you couldn't already tell, I keep repeating words today in a shocked, bewildered sort of tone. Anyway, today I'm 23, not 24, not any other age, so I'm going to enjoy it as much as I can. If this is the last year of my mid-twenties, I sure as hell better enjoy every minute of it.

Quite literally, an online birthday card from my Blingee.com account

My mother left me a card in the bathroom this morning, and true to form, my mother continues to give me the most touching cards imaginable:

Card Outside: (3 old women on lounge chairs, in towels)
Old Woman 1: So I said, "I just don't see how that trapeze is going to hold both of us..."
Old Woman 2: You're making this up!
Old Woman 3: Who cares? What happens next!

Card Inside:
Getting older is fun if you hang out with the right people. Happy Birthday.
Hope you have a real hoot!! on your birthday - I know I will!! xoxo, Mom

(And just so you know, for my mom's birthday this year I gave her a card with an image of old, scantily clad people playing Hop Scotch - on the inside, it said "Fuck it, let's skip the Hop and go straight to the Scotch! Happy Birthday!" We just... get each other.)

I've already received some lovely presents, including season 1 of Torchwood, 3 books and 2 audio books from Sheridan, ridiculously adorable anchor print Vineyard Vines flip flops from Jen, and a gorgeous tan leather purse from my mother. I want to put all my books in the bag, put on my flip flops, and... charge outside into the 50 degree weather? Maybe not. Anyway, today I also received a present from my Tarot.com account (psh, like you don't get your horoscope delivered to your inbox every day!). It's a... um. Celtic Cross 11 Card reading? I'm not sure, I forget. But here's my prediction for my 23rd year - and it's the best reading I've ever had!

Self: Three of Wands

Main (positional) meaning: You are prepared to take risks to explore new opportunities or enterprises. The card in the Self position reveals aspects of how you perceive yourself right now. When the Three of Wands is in this position an adventure is about to be set in motion. This card represents the burning drive that compels a person to risk his or her worldly fortunes for a chance at greatness. Committed to a plan of action, you have gathered resources and designed the step by step procedure. An enterprising spirit inspires you to strike out in this new direction rather than stay with the status quo. Now you can confidently set out on this journey of exploration and hopefully, enrichment.

Situation: Seven of Cups

Main (positional) meaning: Make sensible choices based on self-knowledge. The card that lands in the Situation position refers to social or circumstantial factors which could be affecting your life at this time. When the Seven of Cups is in this position, you may be entering a climate of affirmation and opportunity, perhaps in direct contrast to what has gone before. It is as if you have broken into a clearing after hacking your way through a thicket. The possibilities are so lush it's almost embarrassing, although not all of them can be acted upon. Be sensible. You have to know yourself well enough to determine which of all the available delights is truly for you and you alone. Take care not to be greedy in this situation. Sharpen your powers of discrimination, use your intuition, and follow your heart.

Challenges/ Opportunities: Ten of Cups

Main (positional) meaning: You know in your heart that you have done what is best for all concerned. The card that lands in the Challenges/Opportunities position refers to ways that you can turn obstacles into stepping stones. With the Ten of Cups in this position, let yourself relax, knowing your labors are completed. The worst is over and a much-improved future lies ahead. You are moving forward to a life which is very different from the one you inherited. You know that your heroic effort has made a real difference in the way things are now unfolding. Even if you don't receive all the recognition you have earned, a solid core of self-esteem is now your permanent possession. You did the right thing under challenging circumstances; you kept the greater good in mind. Knowing this produces feelings of personal gratification. Now you can lay this situation to rest and learn to live in a totally new way.

Foundation: Four of Coins

Main (positional) meaning: Take stock of your many blessings and honor your powerful roots. The card in the Foundation position points to influences from your personal history, your roots and background. The Four of Coins in this position suggests you are blessed with substantial gift assets of one kind or another. Some families are culturally rich; some are spiritually rich, while others have financial wealth. All of these can be blessings. Take stock of your personal inheritance, and honor your roots. Be grateful for, and take advantage of, the natural resources passed down to you in this lifetime. In the English-school decks, we see the image of a person who is stuck in his or her misunderstanding of how the material plane works. He's afraid to let go of his four measly coins, because he doesn't know he has to give in order to get. When looked at this way, this is the card of "poverty consciousness."

Recent Past: Ace of Wands

Main (positional) meaning: Someone has shown you how to develop singleness of purpose. The card in the Recent Past position refers to events that are just departing, recently influential but now diminishing in power. With the Ace of Wands in this position, you have been shown an example of a person who has unified his or her will, heart and mind. Such an example is an extraordinary gift. Such a person is not only without duplicity but is like the still center of a howling gale. Capture this person's image and remember it, because it will help you develop a sense of inner harmony and singleness of purpose. This is not only an important lesson but also a real blessing that shouldn't be forgotten.

Higher Power: Justice

Main (positional) meaning: Divine power trusts you to do the right thing. The card in the Higher Power position reflects the broader perspective and influence of your conscience, Guardian Angel, inner wisdom. When Justice comes up in this position, you are given the sword and scales to mediate an important debate, contract or negotiation. Two decidedly non-neutral parties are arguing a case before you as you sit in the seat of the village elder, the wise person. Your task is to find the balance point. Do not be swayed by sentiment, cut deals or do favors. Listen closely, then state the truth, guided by your Higher Power. Show each party how to surrender selfish considerations and cooperate around the most even-handed solution.

Near Future: Eight of Coins

Main (positional) meaning: Continue to cultivate your mastery and you will reap abundant success. The card in the Near Future position indicates which way the wind is blowing with regard to your situation. If you follow the Advice card, however, you can improve on or neutralize tendencies. With the Eight of Coins in this position, you are gearing up to design and render more sophisticated projects. Everything is in place for great success as long as you persevere. Your artistic and intellectual development are evolving in an upward spiral. Continue to refine your skills. Master your craft, building your reputation and attracting new projects, and you will be richly rewarded. Stay on track.

Blocks & Inhibitions: Ten of Wands

Main (positional) meaning: Preoccupation with externals obstructs your purpose; focus instead on the inner reality. The card in the Blocks position points to self-undermining tendencies, areas where you could be in denial, where you could get stuck -- unless you examine yourself and make some corrections. The Ten of Wands in this position indicates you are placing too much value on outwardly oriented pursuits when what you are truly seeking -- inner peace -- is being neglected. Ask yourself if you purposely invite distractions into your life to keep from feeling and having what you are truly longing for, your source of true passion. If that seems true, decide what changes you will make to keep from obstructing inner progress any further.

Allies: Four of Swords

Main (positional) meaning: Look to history for personalities and deeds to model your aspirations. The card in the Allies position points to people who can be supportive or helpful to you at this time. The Four of Swords in this position suggests that your allies, role models and greatest inspirations may be members of previous generations; they may even be historical heroes or legendary figures. Seek inspiration from your archetypes of change, healing and wisdom, whose stories and deeds stir the urge within you to overcome obstacles and resolve problems. Turn the wheels of transformation and evolution. If none come immediately to mind, take time to search for role models who will inspire the qualities you wish to emulate and cultivate within yourself.

Advice: The Hierophant

Main (positional) meaning: Develop your expertise, and have faith that you are a master in the making. The card in the Advice position suggests a course of action which will harmonize what you want with what is currently possible. The Hierophant in this position advises that you return to the role of a meticulous student. Learn everything you can about your chosen area. Let that knowledge become a part of you and an operative influence on your day to day awareness. In this way, you can slowly and steadily establish real credibility in your field or chosen subject. Earn respect and recognition by completing your education and broadening your experience. If you already have all the necessary experience you need, then rewrite your resume so others can appreciate who you are and what you can bring to a situation. Focus on your goal and be determined. You may be destined to be a master in your realm.

Long-term Potential: Page of Coins

Main (positional) meaning: When you work smarter instead of harder, you may well devise a better way. The card in the Long-term Potential position points to unknowns still taking shape. It is the "wild card" yet to be played. The Page of Coins (in some decks, a Princess) in this position indicates that the more completely you master the basics now -- whether regarding a relationship or some enterprise -- the greater your accomplishments will be in the future. Study how a small adjustment in technique can produce a substantial difference in outcome. Only after you have learned the history of your area of interest, and the demands that it makes on all who would master it, can you begin to see where you would make changes or invent better ways. Don't expect to just repeat what those who came before you did; refine your art and you will put your stamp on what is now like a dream in the mind of an apprentice (i.e. the Page). You have the power to gain true mastery if you remain devoted enough to put in the necessary time and effort.

Hot damn. BRB, fulfilling my awesome destiny!