Days till Halloween: 22
Today is a day full of horror for many reasons: First of all, it is my half birthday. This means that today, I am 22 and-a-half, which means I'm halfway to 23, which means in a year and a half I will be 24 and be entering my mid-twenties. If that's not the stuff bone-chilling horror stories are made of, then I just don't know what is.
Second of all, the rug in my new apartment building is totally covered in old blood stains. It reminds me of the hotel from The Shining, with those long creepy corridors with freakishly ugly twin girls standing at the ends of them, and that whole elevator full of blood thing. Erin and I are certain that mass murders have taken place in the hallways, and that the management merely sat back and congratulated themselves on choosing red rugs in order to hide the stains as best they could.
The red should hide that nicely!Don't get me wrong, my apartment itself is clean and bright and almost sickeningly cozy; it's just that the rest of the building is used to kill tourists, in the American version of Hostel. I'm not entirely sure what I'll do when someone in a butcher's outfit comes dashing out from behind a locked door, wielding a blowtorch and a chainsaw, but as long as I can explain that I'm a citizen, maybe I'll be alright. Luckily, I think maybe only 20% of the people in the building can speak English, so there should be plenty of players for The Most Dangerous Game.
Erin and I somehow managed to unpack everything from the UHaul and get it all upstairs, using only one pathetically tiny dolly, including the couch and both the box spring and mattress, with only minor bodily injuries. Due to a much needed Prison Break cool off period, and the fact that we had to move the truck several times, I was once again called upon to show the world my insanely awesome parallel parking skills. Seriously, I am the grand master of parallel parking; there's no space too small for me to get that fucking UHaul in - AND I get right up next to the curb, none of this "ass hanging out in the middle of the road for cars to hit and bikers to go careening over" shit.
These pussies have nothing on me
Erin and I somehow managed to unpack everything from the UHaul and get it all upstairs, using only one pathetically tiny dolly, including the couch and both the box spring and mattress, with only minor bodily injuries. Due to a much needed Prison Break cool off period, and the fact that we had to move the truck several times, I was once again called upon to show the world my insanely awesome parallel parking skills. Seriously, I am the grand master of parallel parking; there's no space too small for me to get that fucking UHaul in - AND I get right up next to the curb, none of this "ass hanging out in the middle of the road for cars to hit and bikers to go careening over" shit.
These pussies have nothing on meThis morning I got to wake up super early and again flex my parking and maneuvering muscles, as I somehow managed to get the truck out of the tiniest space known to mankind (meaning some douchebag parked right on my ass so there was like 2" of space between the UHaul and a stupidly expensive Mercedes Benz that I had to resist ramming.) This was, of course, at the ungodly hour of 6:30am, as I had to get the truck back to the UHaul place around 7am, so I could get to work on time.
Of course that meant that everything that could go wrong did. I fought with a tiny, bitter old man (I mean, I'd be bitter too, if I was like 75 and worked at a UHaul station), had to fill the gas guzzling tank with $50 more in gas, even though I told them the truck was eating gas too rapidly, had to argue that I knew what I was talking about since I've driven from Boston to DC about 100 times now, and finally had to control my homicidal urges and not beat the customer behind me in line to death.
I sucked it up and got the gas, knowing I'm going to call UHaul and demand some money back, since the truck was pretty much the most heinously disgusting thing ever created, but that meant I had to venture out into the depths of Northeast DC, a place I really should never go alone. A drunk man asked if he could pump my gas at the Hess station, and then some very large man offered to "get down" with me, even when I lied and said I had a boyfriend (interestingly enough, I felt the same level of terror at the idea of being in a relationship that I did at the idea of the drunk man accidentally blowing the UHaul up.)
Of course that meant that everything that could go wrong did. I fought with a tiny, bitter old man (I mean, I'd be bitter too, if I was like 75 and worked at a UHaul station), had to fill the gas guzzling tank with $50 more in gas, even though I told them the truck was eating gas too rapidly, had to argue that I knew what I was talking about since I've driven from Boston to DC about 100 times now, and finally had to control my homicidal urges and not beat the customer behind me in line to death.
I sucked it up and got the gas, knowing I'm going to call UHaul and demand some money back, since the truck was pretty much the most heinously disgusting thing ever created, but that meant I had to venture out into the depths of Northeast DC, a place I really should never go alone. A drunk man asked if he could pump my gas at the Hess station, and then some very large man offered to "get down" with me, even when I lied and said I had a boyfriend (interestingly enough, I felt the same level of terror at the idea of being in a relationship that I did at the idea of the drunk man accidentally blowing the UHaul up.)
Regular, Premium, or Corona?Since I luckily survived my harrowing adventure this morning (and somehow, shockingly, made it to work on time, even though I had to Metro it back - which meant taking the red line, then having to transfer to the blue line - walked back to the apartment, showered, and had time to sing a little to my Limewire playlist), I get to spend the evening unpacking and setting things up exactly to my neurotic needs. Then it's time for a dinner and HOUSE!!!!! break, and then more unpacking and organizing. I'm embarrassingly excited. And this time I know not to plug in more than one thing at a time, since this morning I blew two fuses and learned the hard way that I can't have a lamp AND my laptop going at the same time.
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