Days until Halloween: 27
Days until My First Paycheck: 0, bitches
Today is a wondrous day because not only is it Friday, and not only did I just put a tidy sum of money into my pathetically depleted bank account, but because today marks the beginning of Chelsea and Erin's Great Boston Adventure!
Since we want to really rough it, and tackle the elements head on, we'll be taking the regional overnight Amtrak up to Boston (which of course means we'll be subjected to sub-zero temperatures and the threat of Late Night Cell Phone Talkers.) This time we're prepared: we've got pillows, Erin has a fleece blanket, and I have a blanket with stars and moons and other pathetically middle school-era designs on it. Pumped!
Days until My First Paycheck: 0, bitches
Today is a wondrous day because not only is it Friday, and not only did I just put a tidy sum of money into my pathetically depleted bank account, but because today marks the beginning of Chelsea and Erin's Great Boston Adventure!
Since we want to really rough it, and tackle the elements head on, we'll be taking the regional overnight Amtrak up to Boston (which of course means we'll be subjected to sub-zero temperatures and the threat of Late Night Cell Phone Talkers.) This time we're prepared: we've got pillows, Erin has a fleece blanket, and I have a blanket with stars and moons and other pathetically middle school-era designs on it. Pumped!
Next Stop, Happy Land!So that's where I'll be this weekend, packing up my belongings in order to finally spread my proverbial wings and flee the nest. My mother is in mourning, and spends her days drinking lots of wine, having lots of parties, and gloating about how she now has the place to herself, and how her money sponge of a daughter is finally on her own. Such a brave, brave woman.
In celebration of the adventurous spirit of the day, Erin and I embarked at lunch time on The Great Burrito Adventure, an expedition no less dangerous or trying than the Amtrak Polar Express. We went to Chipotle, a place where the burritos are 25 solid pounds of meat, beans, and rice. It's enough for me to hibernate on, which is a good thing, in case the train breaks down along the treacherous mountain passages - or in New Haven.
I claim this mountain for American Obesity Rates!Unfortunately, I am once again locked in an epic battle with my metabolism; since I'm pretty sure I've never experienced this "full" sensation, I'm staring longingly (i.e. drooling) over a Twix Bar hiding in my desk drawer. It's a very trying process:
Stomach: There's a Twix Bar in the drawer.
Brain: Stop it.
Stomach: King Size.
Brain: You just ate twice your body weight in burritos - No.
Stomach: But the Twix has caramel!
Brain: Now that's just not fair.
Stomach: And chocolate!
Brain: Cease the madness!
Stomach: And crispy cookie things!
Brain: Dig in, bitches.
And there you have it, the hardest part of my day - whether or not to give into the Twix Bar before arguing with my deeply demented mind, or after getting a good sparring session in. After the hardships I've faced today, I'll head back to the apartment to pack up my things, collect Erin from the evil clutches of the Feminists, and we'll be on our way. After I cause a scene at the Amtrak ticket booth because they were supposed to refund me $100 last Thursday, but it mysteriously never showed up in my checking account.
We get into Boston at the godforsaken hour of 8am (on a Saturday no less!), then proceed to Hingham to pick up the UHaul truck, and then we'll finally arrive in Hull, a place where everyone knows your name (mostly cause there were like, 8 people in my high school), everyone knows your business (I see what you did there, Mr. Jones), and your soul is immediately sucked out of you, while your empty husk of a body is spit into a pit of despair so deep, you'll never be able to get out alive again. It truly is a magical place.
If, by some freak chance of luck, I make it back to DC, I shall continue to regale you all with wondrous, fascinating stories of the monotony of my day-to-day life. If not, I'm sure you'll shrug, turn off the computer, and put your feet up to watch some Comedy Central. Bastards.
Stomach: There's a Twix Bar in the drawer.
Brain: Stop it.
Stomach: King Size.
Brain: You just ate twice your body weight in burritos - No.
Stomach: But the Twix has caramel!
Brain: Now that's just not fair.
Stomach: And chocolate!
Brain: Cease the madness!
Stomach: And crispy cookie things!
Brain: Dig in, bitches.
And there you have it, the hardest part of my day - whether or not to give into the Twix Bar before arguing with my deeply demented mind, or after getting a good sparring session in. After the hardships I've faced today, I'll head back to the apartment to pack up my things, collect Erin from the evil clutches of the Feminists, and we'll be on our way. After I cause a scene at the Amtrak ticket booth because they were supposed to refund me $100 last Thursday, but it mysteriously never showed up in my checking account.
We get into Boston at the godforsaken hour of 8am (on a Saturday no less!), then proceed to Hingham to pick up the UHaul truck, and then we'll finally arrive in Hull, a place where everyone knows your name (mostly cause there were like, 8 people in my high school), everyone knows your business (I see what you did there, Mr. Jones), and your soul is immediately sucked out of you, while your empty husk of a body is spit into a pit of despair so deep, you'll never be able to get out alive again. It truly is a magical place.
If, by some freak chance of luck, I make it back to DC, I shall continue to regale you all with wondrous, fascinating stories of the monotony of my day-to-day life. If not, I'm sure you'll shrug, turn off the computer, and put your feet up to watch some Comedy Central. Bastards.
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