First of all, let me say this: Jeff Dunham - no matter what Comedy Central says - is not a stand up comedian. No sane, amusing person plays with a horrifying gaggle of ventriloquist dolls. That is a profession purely taken up by serial killers, mass murderers, and people that eat human flesh.
Now you have seen the face of evil
That said, thankfully my day didn't consist of a madman sharing my flesh with his freakishly disproportioned puppets. I woke up this morning feeling particularly refreshed and happy, and sauntered over to the new apartment building to take a giant leap of faith and purchase an apartment without actually being gainfully employed (besides working temp for the feminists.) I think it was my new skirt, because it made my junk-in-the-trunk butt look great. Who says weight gain has to be a bad thing?
Anyway, I foolishly signed a lease, but in a freakish twist of luck - cause, you know, I've been a homeless, broke nomad without a job for most of the summer without any luck in sight - I ended up not only getting the lease approved immediately, but I got a job. Like, a real, full time, paying job (!)
I think my official title is something like Marketing and Legal Bitch, but who knows. I have a fabulous desk and since I am literally the only female in the office at the moment, I get to decorate with frames and plants and whatever it is that will keep all the men staring in confusion and wondering why women are so weird.
Whatever, as long as they're not bringing puppets to work, I'm good.
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