The Pope Has Landed

So the Pope's in town, and apparently this is some kind of big deal, but to be honest I don't get it. It could be because I'm Jewish, or because I know nothing about Catholicism (is that even the right sect? are they even called sects?) or because I have no soul, but I can't be too sure.

I mean okay, so the Pope is the central figure of the Catholic Church, but haven't we progressed a little since the heyday of... oh, I don't know, the 1500's? The guy's like 90, and he's the head out an outdated, hate-propelling institution that seeks to force it's ideals and practices on anyone who's been "saved" and sees the ways of God and Jesus. That and I'm pretty sure he can shoot fireballs out of his hand, and kill people with his brain.

Now, to be fair, I believe myself to be tolerant of any religion, and of anyone's desire to practice as they please. In the same way that I don't want someone cramming religion down my throat, I in turn don't want to try to talk someone out of their own beliefs - to each their own. But with the current administration in the White House, and all of this ridiculous religious BS being crammed down our throats lately, I hardly want to play nice with a man that embodies that ultra conservative group that says women shouldn't be able to have abortions, that gays shouldn't be married, that Islam is inherently wrong, that sex-ed shouldn't be taught to children, etc etc. It's one thing to feel that way privately (though it still makes you an asshole) but it's quite another to make sweeping, stupid generalizations and try to force others to bend to your will. Gimme a break.

Other people, however, love the Pope and all he stands for. Apparently they think he's the new Elvis, the way people have been clamoring over barriers and shrieking with joy whenever he passes. Now, I understand why people do that with rock stars and such - there's always a 50/50 chance you'll be pulled out of the crowd and treated to a night of cocaine and sweaty, dirty sex - but something tells me that the Pope isn't one to pick up groupies for a drug fueled sex romp. Although he does drive a - wait for it! - Popemobile (says Wikipedia) which seems only steps away from a Pimpmobile.


Now that is a scandal I'd love to see - can you imagine the headlines?

Pope Benedict Involved in Illegal Prostitution and Drug Ring!

Amazing. Much better than those pesky Catholic Priest Gets Caught Diddling Group of 14-year-old Boys! headlines that seemed never ending a few years back. And maybe then the Pope would really deserve all the fascinated attention he gets. And hey, if he's banging prostitutes and snorting coke, at least the guy's having a good time. Although the Catholic Church will never condone the use of condoms, so he'll probably get something nasty, and then we'll need a new Pope. Well, this guy's only got a few years left in him anyway, so maybe it's for the best. C'est la vie.